16 Aug 2026, Genesis 32: 22-31, Matthew 15: 24-30 36-43 ‘'Because He Loves’

Today, rather than talking about myself, I’d like to introduce… a friend of mine. He is actually over 20 years older than me, so calling him a “friend”… feels a little awkward… for me culturally! But I don’t really have a better word for it, so let’s just call him a very dear big brother.

He has three sons, and he has led …a wonderfully stable and loving family.

Recently, he has been battling lung cancer. But remarkably, even in the midst of his own struggle, he runs a ministry to comfort other cancer patients and their family.

The reason I admire him so much….. isn’t just because of what he has achieved, but because of the wonderfully tight bond within his family. I am sure he is probably one of the best role models I know.

As I mentioned, he has three sons, and now they have daughters-in-law and grandchildren, and they are all incredibly close. And this has been the case since the children were very young.

You know how hard it can be when they become teenagers. But even when they grew up, got girlfriends, found jobs, got married, and started their own families, this family always stuck together as one team.

Usually, as children grow up, they get busy with their own lives and their own lifestyles. Family holidays become hard to organise. Even getting everyone together for a single meal can be difficult.

But in this family, the children always wanted to be with Mum and Dad. They loved going on family holidays and looked forward to celebrating some things and special occasions together. They would actually look for any excuse… just to catch up.Their family really stands out!

One day, someone asked him, “Why do your children love you so much, and how do you all stay so close? Tell us, what’s the secret?”

Without hesitation, he replied, “There are probably many reasons, but let me tell you a little secret.”

“It cost me a lot of money.”

Everyone laughed and asked, “Well, what do you mean by that?”

He told them about the time his oldest son hit puberty like a storm. He and his wife were completely panicked. Their sweet, gentle boy suddenly, without any warning, stopped talking. He would suddenly get angry, slam his door, and refuse to come out.

It was classic teenage boy behaviour. I’m sure many of you parents here… know exactly what that’s like, right? Whenever they asked him to go anywhere or join a family event, he would just say no.

Then one evening after dinner, the family happened to sit down to play a card game. All family members were feeling a bit nervous, just trying to keep the mood calm and peaceful.

Completely by accident, the teenage son won the game that night and won a nice bit of money. And right in that moment, his son’s face transformed into an absolute angel. Seeing him smile so brightly, humming a little tune, saying goodnight so politely, and heading into his room... the dad thought, “Ah, this is it!” He suddenly got a great idea.

So, what do you think happened the very next night? Out came the cards again!!!, and the dad managed to lose all the money…. he had secretly prepared. This time, he lost on purpose.    And once again, the son went back to his room, just over the moon! And there was no door slamming.

The father knew.  “This is going to cost me a lot of money in the future. But I will happily lose as much as …it takes.”

He explained that whenever they went on holidays, they always played card games together in the evenings. It became a sort of family tradition. But every single time, he deliberately lost. Not obviously, just enough… so that his children would win.

His only worry now is that he’s retired, and as the kids have grown, the games have become more expensive! And now, there are grandchildren involved, too!

Because of this, the children began to associate family time with laughter, joy, and, well... winning!

Even as adults today, they still love travelling with their parents. Why? Because those moments became such precious memories. My friend told me, “Try it." “Yes, it costs money, but seeing my children smile means much more to me than the money I lose” …I think that’s a beautiful picture. A loving parent sometimes chooses to lose, not because they’re weak and not because they can’t win, but simply because they love. 

I have actually tried this a few times myself. I have to admit, it’s not easy! Without even realising it, I suddenly find myself trying my best to win. And then my daughters say, “Dad, are you really that happy about beating your own daughters?”

You see, being defeated is one thing, but choosing to lose,,,, willingly letting someone else win,,,, is no easy task.

There is only one reason…we would ever do it: because of love.

Let’s step into our Genesis reading for today.It is a pitch-black night. Jacob is left all alone by the river. When morning comes, he has to face his brother Esau, who is marching towards him with 400 men to get his revenge and kill him.

Suddenly, out of the darkness, someone attacks Jacob and starts wrestling with him. Jacob fights for his life.They wrestle together until daybreak. When the man sees… that he cannot beat Jacob, he deliberately touches Jacob’s hip and dislocates it. That must have been incredibly painful!

The man says, “Let me go; it’s daybreak.” But Jacob refuses. “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Think about that for a moment. Jacob is injured. He is exhausted. He is terrified about what is waiting for him in the morning.

And yet, he holds on. “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And what happens next? Then God says, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

You win! You are a champion! And right there, Jacob receives the blessing…..

We really love this dramatic story of Jacob, don’t we? It’s fascinating, and it encourages us. We often tell ourselves, “God’s blessing is the reward for those who never quit."But... is that really what happened? Did Jacob actually beat God? Did God really lose to Jacob?

More fundamentally, can a human being ever overpower the Creator?

Then why did God …Look at this stubborn Jacob and say, “You win”? It’s because of love.

Jacob was terrified, crying out, “Please don’t go. Without you, I’m done.” God loved this trembling, fearful Jacob so much that He willingly chose to lose….

In the same way, in Matthew chapter 15, the Canaanite woman comes to Jesus. If Jacob’s story took place on a cold, dark night, this story happens in the bright, scorching heat of the day. If the angel grabbed… hold of Jacob, this time, it is the woman who grabs… hold of Jesus. But her cry is exactly the same: “Lord, have mercy on me!”

But right here, we are faced with a very strange scene. It’s so different from the warm, compassionate Jesus we are used to. 

At first, there is just silence… When Jesus doesn’t respond, the disciples urge Him to send her away. And then, Jesus speaks to her so harshly. “It’s not right to take bread out of children’s mouths and throw it to dogs.” It’s almost as if His harsh words are breaking her hip.

Yet she stays… She kneels…. And she gives this incredible response. “Yes, Lord,” she said, “yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

She is basically pleading, “Lord, you are absolutely right. But please, even just a crumb of Your grace is enough to save my daughter!” What incredible persistence!

If it means saving her daughter, she is willing to be called a dog!

We read this and feel challenged. We think, “Wow, what a woman! We need to be like her. Give up our pride, hold on to the bitter end, and fight our way through until our prayers are answered!”

I’ve even heard people say, “Let’s keep bothering Jesus until He finally gives in!

But once again, Jesus loses to her. I love this scene. “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” Jesus willingly “lost” to the desperate cry of a mother wrestling in tears for the child she loved……….

So, when we look at the stories of Jacob and the Canaanite woman, what message should we really take away?

Yes, we shouldn’t overlook their desperation, their unwavering faith, their willpower, and their persistence.

But we need to look beyond that. We need to see the God who willingly chooses to lose.

We need to see His willingness to give everything because He loves us.

Think about it.

Can we humans really twist the Creator’s arm and make Him do,,, what we want?

Can our willpower actually change the Master’s heart?

we can’t.

When God blesses us, when He bears with our stubbornness, and when He answers our prayers... it’s not because we won the fight. It is simply because He loves us.

And what is even more amazing …is that… He doesn’t lose because He is weak. He has all the power in the universe, yet He intentionally loses out of love, on purpose…

And suddenly, it makes so much more sense why Jesus had to die on the cross. 

When we place these three stories side by side, Jacob at the River, the Canaanite woman bowing on a dusty road, and Jesus on the cross at Calvary, we hear the exact same beautiful melody of holy grace flowing through them all.

He bends low. He bears the cost. He suffers. Because He loves us. That is the message for today….

We had such a wonderful and blessed time at our potluck dinner last Friday. I have to say a huge thank you to everyone who worked behind the scenes to prepare the food and set everything up.

But let me ask you, who do you think was the happiest person in the room that night? It was me. Thank you so much for the completely unexpected 50th birthday surprise, that amazing cake, and the beautiful fountain pen and card.   

There’s a bit of a funny catchphrase going around our church lately. You’ve all been teasing me, saying, “You’re not Do Young, you’re So Young!”  You really go to so much trouble to look after this 50-year-old minister of yours! Don’t worry, that’s all!

Honestly, standing here in front of so many wise seniors and elders in life, talking about “looking back on my 50 years of life” feels a bit embarrassing. It’s like showing Tiger Woods how to swing. Please forgive me! Even though I might just look like a young boy to some of you, turning 50 does give me a strange feeling.

In Korea, people say that when you turn 50, you reach the age of Ji-cheon-myeong, which means “knowing the mandate of Heaven.”

Pondering those words, I had to ask myself, “Do I really understand God’s heart and His will for my life?”

When I think back to my earliest memories, maybe from around the age of five, right up to this very moment, one thing becomes so clear. Over the past 50 years, so many people have poured endless love and care into my life. My family, my friends, and especially all of you sitting right here. You are amazing people.

It’s because I have had so many wonderful people by my side that I am standing here today. It is a complete mystery and the greatest blessing.

And today, as I reflected on the stories of Jacob and the Canaanite woman, I had to ask myself this: “Over the past 50 years, how many times has God lost to me? How often has He simply let me win?”

It really makes me pause.And yet... despite me constantly digging my heels in and being so stubborn, God didn’t break me. Instead, through His amazing love, He has willingly lost to me hundreds, even thousands of times. Again, simply because He loves me.

Dear brothers and sisters, the message I want to share with you today is incredibly simple: “God loses to us because He loves us so much.”

Today, let us lay down all our complicated thoughts and deeply ponder this beautiful “losing love” of God.

Are any of us wrestling alone in the cold, dark night, feeling like our very bones are breaking? Or are we going through a moment of agony, desperately crying out for help through our tears?

Please remember this. At the end of our tearful wrestling, and at the end of our desperate pleading for the crumbs under the table, the One we meet is not a terrifying judge who crushes us with His power. Instead, He is the One who smiles and says, "You win.”

He is like a good Father, a good Mother, a God who is overjoyed and absolutely thrilled to lose to His child.

It is my earnest prayer that we will all find true comfort and rest in the unchanging, warm embrace of His love.

So, are we ready to play a game with God today?

You’d better get your deep pockets ready...

because He is ready to lose! Amen.

May the God who willingly loses because He loves us, the God who meets us in our darkest nights, the God who hears us when we cry out in desperation, and the God who gave Himself for us on the cross,

fill your hearts with His peace, surround you with His unfailing love, and give you strength for every step of the journey ahead.

And may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all, now and always.

Amen.